The Candy Shot and Man Meat: Janice Dickinson in Miami Beach

By Mark Thompson and Josh Head
Part One

The call came.  Janice Dickinson and her modeling agency were coming to the sandbar.  Were we available to do an interview? Are you kidding?  We’d have been camping out in front of her hotel anyway.  The legendary Janice—for whom the word “supermodel” was coined—and that stable of hot models: Sorin with his prodigious assets and the sensitive hottie (and out) JP Calderon—and a plethora of newbies from seasons two and three.  Of course we’d be there.

But first, what to wear.  And what to ask?  And what to bring.  A bag of gifts, to be sure.  We’d heard Janice likes gifts.  Our friends were gagging when they heard we were interviewing La Janice.  So into the gift bag went their inscribed and autographed books—as well as a pink leather… well, it could be used as a condom holder (or not).  And chocolate.  Of course.

All morning, it rained.  Hell, it had been raining for three days—ever since the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency had pulled into town to scour Miami’s beaches for fresh-faced and fierce Latinas and Latinos.  In this weather, the search for fresh was more likely to produce fresh fish for dinner. 

La Janice and her agency were not deterred by the weather.  La Janice waded into the ocean.  The woman will wade into anything.  They got their shots in front of Casa Casuarina (formerly Versace’s home).  And now they were all ensconced at the Sagamore Hotel, fending off the paparazzi who’d managed to follow her through the monsoon.  The press scrum sat patiently, waiting our turn for face time.

We worked our looks.  Shades and man-bags—even in this weather.  Our cameras and voice recorders at the ready—and then, there she was.  Striding through the lobby of the Sagamore: as slender as a Somalian, as forceful as an Amazonian.  A retinue of minions following in her wake, texting furiously, scribbling on notepads, whispering into cell phones. 

A presence like that could make a body nervous.  We took yogi breaths—and then we were summoned.  The green curtains parted, and there she was, seated in a white leather Arne Jacobsen egg chair—from which she rose like a praying mantis unfolding—and graciously extended her willowy arm. 

The two of us were in awe.

Janice: It's the tits honey!

Janice:  I turn all gay men on.

Josh:  You do.  You’re hot.

Mark:  Definitely the legs, honey. 
[At which point, Janice in her chair extends her legs and folds her body into a perfect closed-jackknife—her long legs nearly scraping the ceiling.]

Mark: Ohmigod!  Look at that!  You’re in yoga and Pilates, right?

Janice:  No, I was a ballerina for about eighteen years, before I decided to become a model.  That’s why I put all my models through the trials and tribulations of dance, exercise, diet, nutrition.

Mark:  Exactly, the holistic approach to training.

Janice: You know what, it’s important to always have balance in my profession.

Mark:  Definitely.  And you have it.  One of the things we were thinking about is how you’re able to juggle the roles of mother, producer, model, and writer—which would seem to imply that you’ve got a lot in balance in your life.

Janice:  You know what?  Lately, it’s getting a little rough, guys.  I’ll be straight up.  Let me just really tell you… [whispers]  It’s not easy. It’s really not easy. My kids are driving me fucking crazy.

Mark:  Your birth children?

Janice:  Yeah, my birth children.  You know, the two natural…  Natural!  Can you imagine my perfect little hips squeezing out a ten-pound cannonball like Nathan?

Mark:  Nathan was ten pounds?

Janice:  It was trauma.  I was in labor for 32 hours.

Mark:  No way!

Janice:  It was insane.

Mark:  And the other one?

Janice:  Well she was seven pounds.  She was a one-two squirt.  You know, the greatest achievement in my life is the fact that I have two children who are not homophobic.  Who embrace their gay uncles and aunts.

Mark:  Thank you.

Janice:  No, no, don’t thank me… thank them!

Mark:  You’re the one who taught them.

Janice:  It comes from the families of all my gay friends.  They’ve given back to me, and my children are able to give that and spread that around… I’m not lying… I’m not just saying this for your interview.
Mark:  Incredible.  That’s so great to hear.

Janice:  You know my son will come up to you and hug you and look in your face and ask you how you’re doing and mean it.

Mark:  I’m telling you, that means everything to the gay community.

New episodes of “The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency” are scheduled to premiere on Tuesday, December 4 at 10:30pm (ET/PT) on Oxygen. Oxygen airs in the Miami area on Comcast Cable, Channel 123 and Miami Beach on Atlantic Broadband Cable, Channel 28.

Next Week: Janice explains how J.P. Calderon’s very public coming out took place, her models and why she came to Miami Beach, and of course her comedic side. Stay Tuned!

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